Suspicions of the Normal

Incredibly weird and emotionally unsettling.

Suddenly the girl who owns, albeit not proudly, this website suddenly meets someone – not online (I retired), not in a bar (so cliche), but at the type of place where I would want to meet someone at –  a private event at an art installation in the east village through a mutual acquaintance.

And so far, he’s done everything right. A straight shooter who didn’t stall, pretend not to be interested, and took me out on a date within a few days of meeting as opposed to having me wait in the penalty box until he was either no longer busy, or sick of “pretending” to be busy.

He followed me on my socials like he had nothing to hide and made thoughtful comments about my adventures. He blew past the point of infrequent text and casual plans and instead, inserted himself in to my life immediately.

And I talk in the past tense as if this was so long ago, yet in all actuality this is the stream of events as they are happening in this minute….and I’m completely panicking…

I asked my friend (the one who gave me this advice), Is this normal? Is this weird or out of the box? Is this what people DO?!”

(“And what the hell is with all the texts?!)

He said, “Yes, J. He sounds like he’s really into you. This is what people do when they meet someone they really like. It’s normal that he’s reaching out a lot. It sounds like you’re in to it too, so you should just go with it.”

And I want to.

I want to go with it, because even me, who often comes off as cold and aloft was immediately drawn to this person, this straight shooter who’s not playing games or creating drama and is simply putting in real, genuine effort because he’s interested.

I want to give him the benefit of the doubt.

I want to give him a break.

And I want to stop being suspicions that his intentions aren’t real, because evidently this is what people do…

Maybe I Do Still Got It….Maybe.

Despite the empowerment and “honest” peace that I have tried to create on this blog, I’ll be the first to say that it gets heavy sometimes.

My break-ups, my f***k-ups…my I give-ups….All in this place that sometimes feels like the Thought Catalogue meets Bridget Jones meets Carrie Bradshaw.

All the feelings! All the life lessons! All the thought processes that are meant to be happy and full of resolve, but of which can come off as its own type of bleakness.

So instead of a heavy story, make way for the funny.

Cause it is Friday, right?

About a week and a half ago, I was waiting for the bus. Yes, I was waiting for the bus here in LA which is quite possibly the oddest thing about me.

Even more odd than being the girl that quit dating is the fact that this girl rides the bus in LA sometimes, but I digress.

I was deeply engrossed in Mira Bartok’s “The Memory Palace” (I recommend) when a young guy strolled up and said, “You’re really beautiful.”

“Thank you,” I said even though I was dying on the inside. Dying to finish this book, dying to get home and dying to be a lone here in my solitude as I waited for my chariot at 10:30pm on a Tuesday night. Please go away, I thought. Please go away.

But friends, I didn’t say that.

I was friendly…and kind…and nice…. and dare I say charming to this person who was trying to pick me up at the bus stop…..in LA….at 10:30pm on a Tuesday night.

We chatted about books, film and he mentioned that he’s only been in LA a few months. General pop culture talk that Los Angelenos are famous for. And as I carried on a conversation with this guy, I didn’t think about how old he was. I had no intention of taking this past the bus stop (obviously!), but I knew he had to be young, certainly younger than me, especially when he mentioned that he was interning in film. Interning, I thought? Surely he must be a grad student at one of these ritzy film schools. Mid to late twenties. Young, but not scandalous.

Eventually I saw a bus come into view and as I was bidding good-bye, I said, “So what are you going to do now? Meet some friends for a drink? You should try that bar down the street. They have fantastic cocktails.”

Wondering what he said?

“I have to be careful. I don’t turn 21 for a few more weeks……….”

My first thought was, Oh Look! My Bus!

My second though was, Maybe I do still got it……….