He Found the Blog: When the Guy You’re Dating Finds Out You QUIT Dating – Pt. 1

He knew a blog existed that I was not ready to share.

…or rather….he knew a blog existed that I wrote about dating on, but he didn’t know that the concept was centered around the fact that I QUIT it.

For some reason, it didn’t really come up, nor did I have an opening where I could effortlessly segue into…”Interesting you say that, I actually own iquitdating.com.”

I knew at some point – if this thing was still a thing – I was going to have to lay out my cards and fess up to the things that I chose to publicly write about (albeit anonymously).

Yet in between the anguish that was sitting in between this guy and this blog, there was a part of me that didn’t think I had to unravel my dating history after a few dates. In this case – I let it go and added it to the list of “things I need to talk to M* about LATER”….much later.

As it turns out, “later” was way earlier than anticipated.

M* is incredibly bright in a SoCal beach meets Silicon Valley nerd kind of way and is here in NY building something in the tech space that has the ability to shake the world in which he inhabits. As a dreamer in my own right, I believe in him, his vision and as the person he’s dating, I try to encourage him and his projects as much as I can.

So when he released a beta for the project that he’s currently working on – of course I would sign up for it in support and solidarity. Yes! I want to be in your beta group! Yes! I want to try out your cool, app-y, thingie!

After entering my email I received a “Thank you for signing up”screen that also informed me that I was 346 on the invite list (I expect to be moved up). In return, he received my Klout score, as well as ALL the internet properties that I own……..like this website.


Suspicions of the Normal

Incredibly weird and emotionally unsettling.

Suddenly the girl who owns, albeit not proudly, this website suddenly meets someone – not online (I retired), not in a bar (so cliche), but at the type of place where I would want to meet someone at –  a private event at an art installation in the east village through a mutual acquaintance.

And so far, he’s done everything right. A straight shooter who didn’t stall, pretend not to be interested, and took me out on a date within a few days of meeting as opposed to having me wait in the penalty box until he was either no longer busy, or sick of “pretending” to be busy.

He followed me on my socials like he had nothing to hide and made thoughtful comments about my adventures. He blew past the point of infrequent text and casual plans and instead, inserted himself in to my life immediately.

And I talk in the past tense as if this was so long ago, yet in all actuality this is the stream of events as they are happening in this minute….and I’m completely panicking…

I asked my friend (the one who gave me this advice), Is this normal? Is this weird or out of the box? Is this what people DO?!”

(“And what the hell is with all the texts?!)

He said, “Yes, J. He sounds like he’s really into you. This is what people do when they meet someone they really like. It’s normal that he’s reaching out a lot. It sounds like you’re in to it too, so you should just go with it.”

And I want to.

I want to go with it, because even me, who often comes off as cold and aloft was immediately drawn to this person, this straight shooter who’s not playing games or creating drama and is simply putting in real, genuine effort because he’s interested.

I want to give him the benefit of the doubt.

I want to give him a break.

And I want to stop being suspicions that his intentions aren’t real, because evidently this is what people do…