Suspicions of the Normal

Incredibly weird and emotionally unsettling.

Suddenly the girl who owns, albeit not proudly, this website suddenly meets someone – not online (I retired), not in a bar (so cliche), but at the type of place where I would want to meet someone at –  a private event at an art installation in the east village through a mutual acquaintance.

And so far, he’s done everything right. A straight shooter who didn’t stall, pretend not to be interested, and took me out on a date within a few days of meeting as opposed to having me wait in the penalty box until he was either no longer busy, or sick of “pretending” to be busy.

He followed me on my socials like he had nothing to hide and made thoughtful comments about my adventures. He blew past the point of infrequent text and casual plans and instead, inserted himself in to my life immediately.

And I talk in the past tense as if this was so long ago, yet in all actuality this is the stream of events as they are happening in this minute….and I’m completely panicking…

I asked my friend (the one who gave me this advice), Is this normal? Is this weird or out of the box? Is this what people DO?!”

(“And what the hell is with all the texts?!)

He said, “Yes, J. He sounds like he’s really into you. This is what people do when they meet someone they really like. It’s normal that he’s reaching out a lot. It sounds like you’re in to it too, so you should just go with it.”

And I want to.

I want to go with it, because even me, who often comes off as cold and aloft was immediately drawn to this person, this straight shooter who’s not playing games or creating drama and is simply putting in real, genuine effort because he’s interested.

I want to give him the benefit of the doubt.

I want to give him a break.

And I want to stop being suspicions that his intentions aren’t real, because evidently this is what people do…

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J is a happily single 30-something currently documenting her stories of love and loss. Her blog, “I Quit Dating” features excerpts of her journey as she reflects on the lessons learned from the men she loved. A complete collection of essays detailing her walk away from finding Mr. Right in order to pursue a more fulfilled life will be self-published next year. She recently moved from Los Angeles to New York. Contact: iquitdating (@)