I Love That You Hate What I Hate – II

I began thinking of all the times I bonded with a stranger over varied, somewhat superficial interests. What bands we liked, what our favorite foods were, what we liked to do in our spare time. We’d talk, compare notes, makes plans around our mutual interests, these interests connecting me to this person I liked in hopes that this person would then like me.

Until recently when I started asking myself, How many dates did I go on with these people before we talked about the things we not only disliked, but the things we HATED?

Did we ever?

And for the sake of this argument, if we did, was I ever confident enough to talk with conviction about what I hated even if that meant that this new person wouldn’t like me anymore?

Did I ever have the balls to say, “You know what? I F***K** HATE THAT SH*T instead of “I’d totally do that WITH YOU!”

Probably Not.






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J is a happily single 30-something currently documenting her stories of love and loss. Her blog, “I Quit Dating” features excerpts of her journey as she reflects on the lessons learned from the men she loved. A complete collection of essays detailing her walk away from finding Mr. Right in order to pursue a more fulfilled life will be self-published next year. She recently moved from Los Angeles to New York. Contact: iquitdating (@) gmail.com

3 thoughts on “I Love That You Hate What I Hate – II”

  1. Wow, that was quite the nugget of wisdom your coworker shared with you! As someone who is generally both open-minded and non-confrontational, I can certainly relate to how difficult it is to take a strong stance on an issue, especially in the presence of a near stranger. Opening yourself up to potential conflict with someone in the beginning, when the connection is at its most tenuous, can be really nerve-racking. I envy people who naturally have more of a “take me or leave me” attitude, who have no qualms about broadcasting who they are and what they believe and owning it.


    1. Thank you so much for coming by and taking the time to write that. There is def a beauty in being a “take or leave it” type of person. But…that alone is not easy either. 🙂


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