I Like You, But I Love Me – I

It’s supposed to be, “I love you, but I love me more,” but we weren’t there. We weren’t “In love.”

Hell, we weren’t even “in like.”

We were in the “you seem normal and nice and special and maybe I would ‘like” to hang out with you if we’re both free….let’s say on Tuesday?”

We were in that place that supposed to be the honeymoon of dating where you temporarily weeded out the losers and you found yourself knowing, actually knowing someone just enough to assume that he’ll call you again without the pressure of actually “being” something to him. How do you know he’ll call? In some weird way, you think (or know) he’s going to call, because the whole situation is so infrequently casual that you assume he’ll have time to date you in between whatever else or whomever else he’s “doing.”

He was nice in the boy next door kind of way (instead of the emotionally complicated that I frequently find myself overanalyzing with friends when they stop calling). Instead, he was simple and unambiguously kind – the type of guy who could be found fishing on a lake instead of going to some overpriced, bottomless mimosas kind of thing on a Sunday, as so many of us youthful, urban / suburban types “do.”

He didn’t pressure me to hang, he didn’t text me everyday, he simply popped his head up once in awhile when he thought he (or I) could use a break from the mundane to hang out for an hour or two.

Yet me, the non-committal, non-dating kind had a problem with that too.










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J is a happily single 30-something currently documenting her stories of love and loss. Her blog, “I Quit Dating” features excerpts of her journey as she reflects on the lessons learned from the men she loved. A complete collection of essays detailing her walk away from finding Mr. Right in order to pursue a more fulfilled life will be self-published next year. She recently moved from Los Angeles to New York. Contact: iquitdating (@) gmail.com

3 thoughts on “I Like You, But I Love Me – I”

  1. What, why!? It’s hard enough to find a decent guy in the sea of jerks that inhabit New York.. 🙁However, if it’s TOO casual it tends to fizzle out. Then again I’m no expert since I have a unique “radar,” for finding the most ill matching guy for me…😐👎🏻 At any rate, stay strong and “do you!” 😜


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