Being Happy: The Operative Should

I’ve always wanted to be a happy person.

We all know the types. The types who float through life with a smile on their face as they brush the imaginary chip off their shoulder. They’re the ones who not only trek upward when life turns on them, but they pick themselves up with a certain tenacity and perseverance.

And they do what I’m unable to.

They smile.

They somehow find a way to rise above the dooms and gloom(s) instead of being swallowed by them.

And they smile.

I would say I’m grateful and blessed and all those words that are synonymous for feeling fortunate. That part is true.

I am fortunate, blessed and well aware of the real misfortunes that people face.

The great relationships, the jobs, the loving family and beautiful things that I surround  myself with should make me happy.

I should be happy.

Then why does the “should” end up being the operative word that is so different from reality?

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J is a happily single 30-something currently documenting her stories of love and loss. Her blog, “I Quit Dating” features excerpts of her journey as she reflects on the lessons learned from the men she loved. A complete collection of essays detailing her walk away from finding Mr. Right in order to pursue a more fulfilled life will be self-published next year. She recently moved from Los Angeles to New York. Contact: iquitdating (@)

8 thoughts on “Being Happy: The Operative Should”

  1. Interesting discussion on ‘Being Happy’! If the source of our happiness is from within we’ll remain happy longer but if our happiness depends on others it will remain fragile and vulnerable.

    Cheers 🙂


  2. Those people who look at all the wonderful things in their life and end up being “happy” are either naive, drunk 100% of the time, high on some type of drug (prescribed or not) or all of the above.

    What you said about “should” being the operative word is the reason I started a blog about everything being pathetic. Life isn’t all it’s cracked up to be and those people who walk around seeing everything through rose colored glasses are my number one topic of choice! 🙂


  3. Because it never works this way. ‘Should’ doesn’t apply to being happy. Sometimes happiness is mindset and it requires a lot of work and input. Small steps sometimes help, other times it’s just not your fault that you don’t feel it. Still, it’s about working on it, for it, to live it. That’s the way I see it and for me, it works.


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