To Everything There Is A Season: I’ve Had My Turn

…..To everything there is a season…”

I’m often asked,

“Don’t you get jealous?”

“Don’t you want what others have?”

“Don’t you want to be like that couple walking down the street hand in hand?

“Don’t you want to be like THEM?”

With that I say, “I’ve had my season. I’ve had my turn….”

I don’t consider myself a religious person. After nearly 13 years of Catholic education and countless Sundays at 10:30am mass, I like so many in the Catholic faith fell off the wagon once I reached adulthood.

The perpetual I’m hung-over…. I’m brunching…. that eventually turned to I’m working….

All those silly little reasons that start off as excuses that eventually lead to habits until we don’t think about what it was we used to do before the excuses took hold.

Church? What church?

That’s right I used to go there…..

But we go on living, working and learning from all that is around us even though the idea of a physical church may be lost to us. We somehow still learned how to be people from someone in some way even though we can’t recall what influenced us to be the way we are. We learned in ways that aren’t so easy to explain.

Where did I learn this? Who told me? What is this unexplain-ness that somehow helped shape me into the person that I am today? Is it my conscience? Faith? Did someone tell me? Or am I just repeating a movie or TV quote?

I found that I encountered this as friends started asking me the questions that I presented to you in the beginning of this entry. I found myself thinking of the beginning of a quote, “To everything there is a season…..”

I couldn’t recall the rest. Where had I read it? What was it from and why couldn’t I remember the rest?

I then looked it up and realized that it was from the Bible.

To everything there is a season; A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; A time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up;A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance;A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;A time to get, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away;A time to rend, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;A time to love, and a time to hate; a time of war, and a time of peace.” – Ecclesiastes 3

The Bible? I’m not the type of person who reads the bible. Surely I’m not the type of person who quotes Scripture…..

So instead of treating the bible as THE BIBLE, I began to look at these words as if they were words from another book. A very long book that I’ve only read the cliff notes to of which I sometimes agree with and many times don’t

And I began to realize how perfectly”To everything there is a season…” fits my life.

It became my mantra whenever someone would ask, say or mention my current path.

It became my mantra when I would see a couple at a bar or walking down the street.

It became my mantra as I read an engagement or “liked” relationship statuses, wedding albums and baby photos.

“To everything there is a season…..”

This is not my season.

This is not my turn.

I’ve had my turn.

Now it’s THEIR turn.

Now it’s THEIR season.

I’ve wondered about this as I’ve read blogs like mine from women like me.

The “Why Me’s” and “Why Them’s” which I respect wholeheartedly because I’ve done that here as well.

“To everything there is a season…”

I’ve had my season.

I’ve had my turn.

I was that girl.

I was loved.

I’m still loved….just not by them.

“To everything there is a season…”

Published by

J

J is a happily single 30-something currently documenting her stories of love and loss. Her blog, “I Quit Dating” features excerpts of her journey as she reflects on the lessons learned from the men she loved. A complete collection of essays detailing her walk away from finding Mr. Right in order to pursue a more fulfilled life will be self-published next year. She recently moved from Los Angeles to New York. Contact: iquitdating (@) gmail.com

23 thoughts on “To Everything There Is A Season: I’ve Had My Turn”

  1. Catching up on some of your older posts, but wanted to add something to “To everything there is a SEASON” I highlighted season there, because that’s the key word. Sometimes I find myself wishing I had a better life, you know the usual BETTER job, looks, that I was already married, have financial security. For me if I was to leave it at, ok so it’s not currently my season. But that’s the thing about a season, it comes back again. Well that’s what I hope anyway, that my turn will come at some point. I have faith that thing will be better in the future, otherwise I would succumb to depression. Then I’ll start to wallow in my despair, and focusing too much on what isn’t. That’s never been my personality, to focus too much on the negatives. So for me it works to remember that seasons change, that they rotate. Of course some seasons are longer than others, but it’s still a season.
    THIS was such a good reminder, so thank you, even if I’m not reading it months later 🙂

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  2. I am currently not in my best season of relationships and finances. I have those moments where I am completely baffled by how others seem to be a great season all of the time. I need to keep reminding myself that it’s not my season. I have had great seasons before and I have to have faith they will come back around again! Great post! !!

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  3. That’s a great take on the text. I read the Bible regularly and love finding new ways it applies to my everyday life.
    You really need to know which season you’re in now and what preparations you need to make for the upcoming seasons.

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  4. I love this post as well as all the posts I’ve read here , but this one really stood to me ” to everything there is a season ” it’s just really a perfect and meaningful sentence . And I love what your blog is about and how you really teach us valuable lessons by an easy fun way through your blog . I feel like I am taking advice from my wise sister , you are definitely followed by me now , keep blogging please cause I need your posts in my life .

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  5. It is very beautiful how you said that, I couldn’t have said it better. I will be thirty in a few years and I am dreading it and it is not even because of the “relationship status” because just like you, I have been loved and I have loved by this one amazing human. I would have loved for it to be long partnership but it didn’t. I am not wallowing in pity but I have decided to find and focus on other ways of making my life whole and fulfilling. Now it is the friends and family that are having a pity party for me and some of them think I am not properly wired as I am not bothered about this. Just this December, a third of my friends were either getting married, engaged or having babies. I was so happy for them , thrilled and I would like their posts, comment and congratulate but all I get is “when are we celebrating with you?” . It is good I read this, now I have an answer for them. I had a turn and might still have a turn in the future if God wills it but now, right now, it is their season, it is their turn. Thank you so much. It’s like I just had an epiphany. thank you

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    1. Thank you so much for taking the time to write that and for your kind words. It means so much that you found something beneficial in my words. Appreciate it 🙂

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  6. This is so perfectly said. I grew up Catholic as well but I think I spaced out on Bible verses. You make a great point. Not getting married and having children does not mean your life is over. It is a time to do “you”. Great read! Keep ’em coming!

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  7. To everything there is a season. This is so true. If we don’t know what season we’re in, we usually end up working against ourselves, getting nowhere and doing things to our detriment. Everyone’s season is at different times.

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  8. Seasons change…. And in life, seasons are continuous.. Your time will come back around; and I don’t mean being partnered, I mean for whatever genuinely gives you happiness.
    I agree it may seem like we “take turns” when it comes to this, but while others appear “in their summer”, you may just be “in winter” for a little bit.
    Thank you for writing this, I love the quote and I like your attitude of acceptance and awareness rather than envy; it’s hard at times, or at least it is for me.
    Seasons, there’s four of them 😉 summer – full of life … autumn – things get ready to wind down…. winter – things hibernate…. spring – rebirth/rejeuvenation… We will go through all of them, many times in our life.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I’m a few years shy of 30 but i feel it getting closer. i relate to this 100% and i struggle daily with the wonderful question of “why…” . i have only just read this entry but i look forward to reading more from you.

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