Pulling The Plug on Facebook

I love you.

I love celebrating your life and all it has become.

The boyfriends, the engagements, the weddings and the babies – all those big moments in your life where you shared photos of first dances, honeymoons, baby’s first bath, and baby’s first nap.

I celebrated you and your life moments via likes, cheers and comments, while sharing via #____baby and #____wedding.

But somewhere a long the line I had my own life moments.

Maybe not babies and weddings, but nights out with friends, amazing work accomplishments and endless photos of Los Angeles’ sunsets that always dance outside my window.

Beautiful things to me as sonograms and engagement photos are to you.

And while they aren’t conventional life moments like you have had, they are moments that have defined me and who I am. They are moments worth celebrating because they are non-conventionally “me”.

Yet in the age of social media, I’ve found that these types of lives, the lives like mine, don’t seem to work as well in my circle of friends where the wild and free are whispered and wondered about.

Is she happy? (Yes) Is she alone? (No) What does she do? (A lot actually!)

Maybe it’s my circle….Maybe it’s me…..but I knew I had to make a change when I logged on recently and immediately asked myself, what am I doing here? What is all this stuff and who are these people?

Then the thought occurred to me that instead of “dancing like no one is watching,” I wanted to live like no one was watching. I no longer wanted to feel like I was on the stage while others waited for my next trick, my next LIFE EVENT worthy of a comment or like. I wanted to remove myself from the wonder and questions from casual acquaintances. I wanted to be free without the social pressures disguised as “You should(s)” and “Why don’t you(s), because that is what THEY are doing now.

I wanted to live my life like no one is watching…because NO ONE IS!

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J is a happily single 30-something currently documenting her stories of love and loss. Her blog, “I Quit Dating” features excerpts of her journey as she reflects on the lessons learned from the men she loved. A complete collection of essays detailing her walk away from finding Mr. Right in order to pursue a more fulfilled life will be self-published next year. She recently moved from Los Angeles to New York. Contact: iquitdating (@) gmail.com

20 thoughts on “Pulling The Plug on Facebook”

  1. I am also considering quitting Facebook, as I am tired of seeing everyone else being happy and outgoing, while I just sit all day at home and watch TV shows. Facebook makes us question our lives, even when we are happy and content! I really loved your quote, and it definitely gave me something to reflect upon.


    1. Thanks for coming by and sharing that. Yes…I’m big on censoring myself and knowing my limits….I’m planning a post around that topic. Hopefully I can get it together.


  2. Facebook is Bragbook or Pitybook, or Tagbook… I know it all… But I have cut my friend list to 120 I think, and not people I know well also. I left people who intrigue me, who inspire me, with whom I am close of course. But some of them I have never meet in person yet they are still on my friend list because I love what they post.

    But I totally get what you are saying, yesterday I thought to myself… “It’s so easy to feel worthy when society approves of what you do and you fit in the box. Try feeling worthy when you have left the box.” 🙂


  3. I have never fully quit Facebook but I have taken plenty of Facebook breaks. I am not sure why the site still has a hold on me. I too am tired of celebrating other peoples baby an wedding successes and people not really care about my, what seemed to them, minor successes. Great Post!


    1. It makes it so easy to keep in touch and it’s sad when I think of all the people who I know I’ll lose touch with because I’m not on there….But how close are we NEED facebook to keep in touch? I’ve had the same phone number for 15 years…..I can be found! 😉 I see it as, Facebook works well for people will certain life efforts as you mentioned. I’m sure you’re successes aren’t minor. I’m sure they are wonderful! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you! I commend you for dropping your Facebook. Right now that is something that I only talk about, but maybe one day I can follow through.


  4. I find I am so perfectly happy with my life… until i see someone younger than me is married and then I start to worry. I haven’t gotten rid of Facebook but I view it with a pinch of salt. My ex didn’t and couldn’t have his life shared on there and so I stopped posting, now my real friends know whats going on, my Facebook friends have no clue and that’s they way I like it!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I do see it’s value, especially because I live very far away from my network….but it just wasn’t the place for me anymore. I use Twitter for current events and other random blips. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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