That’s My Tribe: Rock Star Rookies and The Lovable Groupie – Part II

Everyone has an interest.

Maybe you like sports, hiking, the beach, yoga, biking…or other outdoorsy, athletic activities that rule the southern California landscape.

You plan your Saturday, get your athletic clothes out and you’re ready!

And whatever that interest is, chances you’ve connected with someone a long the way who enjoys doing what you like to do.

(Not me –  I don’t do any of that stuff, but surely YOU’VE connected with SOMEONE ELSE about all those things while I was sipping an espresso and reading “War and Peace” at some coffee shop somewhere).

You’ve found a buddy and with this buddy you either formed a two person tribe, or joined an even bigger tribe by recruiting other outdoorsy, athletic type people.

You formed a tribe based on a common interest with another person or with other people.

In my experience, I’ve found that those who are more “tribal” than others are those who have a greater love for their interest than those who do not.

While some may do what they like to do when they have a free minute, in many cases those who consider themselves “tribal” have instead integrated this interest into their lives so much so that its become a apart of them.

Musical and creative people are especially “Tribal”

We love connecting with others who love what we do, even though many of us would consider ourselves a bunch of introverted misfits.

“Oh! You know that band?”


Instant kinship!

We’ve spent our childhoods in theaters and concert halls where we marched in school bands and orchestra pits. We reveled in the fact that we were always in groups.

Groups of passionate people like us.

Groups of artistic people playing together and rehearsing together…..sometimes even loving each other. I mean, we did spend a lot of time together….

So it’s natural that even as adults, we would seek out a group…a tribe…a social band of musical misfits to spend time with even though we might not be as musical as we once were or don’t spend hours playing as we once did. After all those years of artistic camaraderie, we find that musicians are still our people.

Musicians are still the ones that we feel most at home with where we can talk about songs, bands, influences and inspirations. They are dreamcatchers who listen to your stories without judgement and who don’t laugh when we say we’ve flipped the station from the Super Bowl to 60 Minutes because they were discussing how Stradivarius violins were made. (Yes, I did this Sunday).

We collaborate…. talk….encourage….all over drinks in small apartments cluttered with people in major cities where everyone is trying to make it.

That is where my experience with musicians almost always began and why I always seemed to gravitate toward one.

Simply speaking, at the time they were in my tribe.

Who’s your tribe?

Part One of the Story

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J is a happily single 30-something currently documenting her stories of love and loss. Her blog, “I Quit Dating” features excerpts of her journey as she reflects on the lessons learned from the men she loved. A complete collection of essays detailing her walk away from finding Mr. Right in order to pursue a more fulfilled life will be self-published next year. She recently moved from Los Angeles to New York. Contact: iquitdating (@)

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