Maybe I Do Still Got It….Maybe.

Despite the empowerment and “honest” peace that I have tried to create on this blog, I’ll be the first to say that it gets heavy sometimes.

My break-ups, my f***k-ups…my I give-ups….All in this place that sometimes feels like the Thought Catalogue meets Bridget Jones meets Carrie Bradshaw.

All the feelings! All the life lessons! All the thought processes that are meant to be happy and full of resolve, but of which can come off as its own type of bleakness.

So instead of a heavy story, make way for the funny.

Cause it is Friday, right?

About a week and a half ago, I was waiting for the bus. Yes, I was waiting for the bus here in LA which is quite possibly the oddest thing about me.

Even more odd than being the girl that quit dating is the fact that this girl rides the bus in LA sometimes, but I digress.

I was deeply engrossed in Mira Bartok’s “The Memory Palace” (I recommend) when a young guy strolled up and said, “You’re really beautiful.”

“Thank you,” I said even though I was dying on the inside. Dying to finish this book, dying to get home and dying to be a lone here in my solitude as I waited for my chariot at 10:30pm on a Tuesday night. Please go away, I thought. Please go away.

But friends, I didn’t say that.

I was friendly…and kind…and nice…. and dare I say charming to this person who was trying to pick me up at the bus stop… LA….at 10:30pm on a Tuesday night.

We chatted about books, film and he mentioned that he’s only been in LA a few months. General pop culture talk that Los Angelenos are famous for. And as I carried on a conversation with this guy, I didn’t think about how old he was. I had no intention of taking this past the bus stop (obviously!), but I knew he had to be young, certainly younger than me, especially when he mentioned that he was interning in film. Interning, I thought? Surely he must be a grad student at one of these ritzy film schools. Mid to late twenties. Young, but not scandalous.

Eventually I saw a bus come into view and as I was bidding good-bye, I said, “So what are you going to do now? Meet some friends for a drink? You should try that bar down the street. They have fantastic cocktails.”

Wondering what he said?

“I have to be careful. I don’t turn 21 for a few more weeks……….”

My first thought was, Oh Look! My Bus!

My second though was, Maybe I do still got it……….

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J is a happily single 30-something currently documenting her stories of love and loss. Her blog, “I Quit Dating” features excerpts of her journey as she reflects on the lessons learned from the men she loved. A complete collection of essays detailing her walk away from finding Mr. Right in order to pursue a more fulfilled life will be self-published next year. She recently moved from Los Angeles to New York. Contact: iquitdating (@)

14 thoughts on “Maybe I Do Still Got It….Maybe.”

  1. J, I think this may be my favorite(its hard to choose) freeing yourself up from the dating bull$h*t is a relief, because it’s healthier to focus on yourself and your own growth. Might I add(coming from NYC) living in a big city with a slew of shallow men(boys)and struggling actors, my God forget it!


  2. J, this I think may be my favorite so far(it’s hard to choose!) I think having dating off your plate allows you to actually have a conversation with a guy sans all the thoughts of “him,him him..” Because it just frees you up from the bull$&*t, which is nice! Besides, it’s healthier to focus on yourself and your growth. -Cheers xoxo *Leah* p.s. send some sun to the East Coast, but no more bad actors! ha-ha


    1. HAHA! Thanks for reading! It really is nice. I wish I can say that I miss it and that I’m getting over this little spat in my life, but alas that is not the case. Will try to send some sunshine!


  3. It is nice to get compliments and just accept them at face value for what they are. I used to ask them if they were blind because I’m much older than them. Now I smile, and say “Thank you”.


    1. Yes. I find that I have trouble taking compliments from people I know. I find that is when I start doing what you describe….making excuses…etc…A stranger though…I find myself shaking it off with a Thank you.


  4. Compliments from young men do brighten my day. I had one in the library tell me I looked like I stepped off a romance novel and another tell me I was the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. Ironically, I did model for a few romance novels in my 20’s so I thought he was referring to that but he wasn’t. Both guys were way too young for me (both probably around early 20’s)but it was nice to see I am still pretty though I’m older.

    Liked by 1 person

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