I’m Here For the Blondes – Tinder Tumble: Six Date Stumble – Part VII

And then one night as I lounged in my Hello Kitty pajamas, while drinking wine and binging on “Orange is the New Black,” because that is what single women do, I found myself right swiping on a blurry person, with an outline of a good-looking person, who was wearing a tux and sharing the frame with very large… blonde…DOG!

Lucky for him I love dogs, because outside of that, and what I’m sure was a critical part of his strategy, I don’t know if I would have continued given the fact that I couldn’t see his face due to the quality of the shot, the terrible angle and the fact that he was looking down at the cute pup instead of at the camera. So instead of thinking of how good looking this person was, all I thought was, “What kind of guy can’t be bothered to upload a decent photo to his Facebook page that will feed right into here? Does he not know how?”

Nevertheless, I continued on to the next photo of him with his face now clearly visible as he rested his arm around a friend to in front of beautiful mountain range, followed by another more (creative?) shot of him reading a travel guide about New Zealand while holding a white coffee cup as he balanced himself on top of a rocking horse in what looked like someone’s house. Yes, a rocking horse that I would later photoshop OUT when my friends asked who I was going out with.

And what gems of wisdom were tucked away in his bio? What did he say in that tiny space where I chose to mention my appreciation for art and musical bookworminess?

He was “Here for the inspiring quotes from blonds in bikinis”

Playing Catch-Up? The other parts of the story.

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J is a happily single 30-something currently documenting her stories of love and loss. Her blog, “I Quit Dating” features excerpts of her journey as she reflects on the lessons learned from the men she loved. A complete collection of essays detailing her walk away from finding Mr. Right in order to pursue a more fulfilled life will be self-published next year. She recently moved from Los Angeles to New York. Contact: iquitdating (@) gmail.com

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