One thing that caught me completely off guard during my brief foray into Tinder was how normal everyone seemed to be and how rampant the “illusion of normal” was.
I don’t know what I was expecting, but given the apps reputation, I was definitely expecting more surprises that ultimately led me to disguise. I didn’t feel that or get the impression from it which might be part of the reason why I went wrong in all this. Why was I not more suspicious? Why was I not more cynical (or as cynical as I am now)?
I simply saw all these the people like I see the world on most days. The weird, the normal, the good-looking, the not, all represented as snapshots or “postcard people,” like those we find in the picture frames that we buy, but who nevertheless all somehow finding the courage to show their lives to strangers in hopes of finding someone.
Yet as idealistic as my thoughts were going into this, I also knew why some (or most) were there. Tinder is in fact most noted as being the place where hook-ups get hooked (?), so I was well aware that not everyone was harmless. Not everyone was like me. Not everyone would be kind and normal, whatever normal is at least. However, I also wanted to be fair, because if you’re like me and find yourself on there, you have to be. How can I say everyone is weird when I’m putting my face on it too? Does that mean I’m weird to?
In saying that, I also know that I’m in the minority in thinking this way, especially given how many dating blogs are centered around the barbaric-like conversations and pick-up lines that occur on these apps. That is fact. They happen and we as readers are fascinated by these types of stories. You mean he said that??! Yet, often when we do this, we overlook the normal. No one wants to read about normal. No one likes to talk about normal.
In saying that, I’m not blinded. Do I think there is lots of weird on Tinder? Yes!
However, Are people weird in real life too? Absolutely.
So I speak the truth in saying this. – For whatever reason, I did not attract that type of energy. AKA – Nobody wanted to hook up with me on Tinder.
I could say that it was because of the pictures I posted -Maybe it was the lack of party shots (though I did add one later of me drinking a margarita as big as my head to show I’m fun), the absence of the typically beachy, bikini shots, or my self proclaimed bookworminess that I tooted in my bio, but that would imply that I packaged myself somehow differently to not attract that type of attention. However, what about all the other women who are/were doing exactly what I was, yet had nothing but the experiences that we keep reading about?
Honestly, I have no idea. I have no idea why I attracted people who seemed to be normal (at least on the surface), instead of those that weren’t, nor do I think that I did anything different from what others have done. I think I just got lucky.
So I rolled with it. I seized the opportunity!
I played…I swiped…I read…I swiped….Swoosh…Swoosh……..RING!!
They would ask, “Hi! What kind of music do you like?”
“What kind of books do you read?”
“What do you like to do?”
Most times they would reach out, but many times I would start the banter with witty lines that I’m sure bordered on “cheesy” based on their photographs or what they mentioned in their profile. (Because I pay attention! I care what you’re in to!)
My flirting ranged from, “Hey! Can I borrow those sunglasses?” to “What’s your favorite band?” if they seemed to be a musichead like myself. I never sent generic “Hi’s” I was serious! I needed to put my best foot forward in order to stand out from the pack! I needed to get off their list of potentials and on to real dates! This was a game and I wanted to win!
And I thought I did…
Catching Up? The other parts of this story.