I’m Not Kidding…Really.

To say people were aghast with disbelief when I said, “I was not going to be dating anymore” would be an understatement.

Virtually no one thought I’d actually go through with it, because according to them,“I get more phone numbers than anyone they know.” They joked, they chided, they laughed at my next career in the nunnery (as if I would wear those outfits) and how high the odds were that I was going to be a celibate Liz Lemon. Yet even after weeks of silencing the laughter with statements like, “This is who I am now,” my merry band of jokesters (aka my friends) switched tactics. They began to think that maybe I was hurt and needed reassuring words about how smart, beautiful and talented I am. Because isn’t that what we do in times like this? We raise people up in hopes that we’ll convince them to change their mind? Which is exactly what they did. In fact, their display of confidence and conviction about me “meeting someone who will sweep me off my feet” was so emphatic that I began to wonder if this is what it was like on Mt. Sinai when Moses received the Ten Commandments. So much flair! So must gusto! So much trying as each and every one of them attempted to say those same words in different ways. Even my high-powered boss weighed in by telling me to stop being ridiculous and get back in the pool, but only after he started one with everyone in the office placing bets on when I was going to meet someone that was going to change my current mindset. (In case you’re wondering, bets ranged from 3 months to 18, with my boss betting that at I’d find Prince Charming within 12).

It was touching, really, and I might have believed them if I haven’t heard all those generic, run of the mill statements 1000 times before. Yet as much as I wanted to yell, cry, and slap their hyena-like grins off their cupid-like faces, I knew I couldn’t. I knew I couldn’t blame them, for saying and feeling they way they did…Because haven’t we all?

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J is a happily single 30-something currently documenting her stories of love and loss. Her blog, “I Quit Dating” features excerpts of her journey as she reflects on the lessons learned from the men she loved. A complete collection of essays detailing her walk away from finding Mr. Right in order to pursue a more fulfilled life will be self-published next year. She recently moved from Los Angeles to New York. Contact: iquitdating (@) gmail.com

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